It’s Okay to Suck at Something

It’s okay to suck at something, failing is a gift.

It’s how we learn. Failing, sucking, not getting it right the first time, it doesn’t work. You didn’t really fail but learned that what you did does not work. Or that you need to do it over and over and over again until it does.

Asses, reflect.

Change the plan, go back at it in another way.

I can’t do a pistol squat. Yet. I never will unless I practice it. Currently when I do it I fall over. I will keep at it until I can do one. This has been going on for 1 year. Not there yet but, I’m happy to report making progress. I do suck at them, but this year I suck less than last year. A win. It might be when I am 80, but hey I will get there.

The Key is to proceed until it works, until you have achieved.

Fail again?

My ankle needs a bigger range of dorsiflexion-without the kettle bell I fall over!

Check, that didn’t work either.

Get back in there. Do something different.

Commit bigger, deeper, action is required to do more. Keep going back until it works. Need more information? More practice? Need more resources, support, a team, a coach, etc.,? Find them. Find it.

Enjoy the learning, enjoy the challenge(s). Embrace the effort, the journey, the doors that open and the doors that close (they aren’t the right doors-the universe wants you to take another door, a different approach).

Remember the saying “when one door closes, put your hand on the next one and open it. If that doesn’t work go through a window.” Okay this is my saying, but bottom line - keep taking action.

I was listening to a podcast about resilience with Dean Stott who transitioned from British Special Forces to Crisis Management Expert. To get into the Special Forces he was tested-the key was to never give up no matter how challenging things became. The Forces was looking for mindset. For example one of the tasks was to get through a door to “save” people on the other side. The door was actually nailed shut, it could not be opened. Of course Dean learned this after the test was over. No one would be able to get through that door, but the selection crew was looking for men and women who would never give up. They failed again and again on an impossible task, but their mindset was focused on how to penetrate that door.

Or consider infants learning to walk, or hold spoon, or talk. Can you imagine a toddler standing up for the first time, immediately loosing their balance, falling down, then adults saying “well they’ll just have to crawl the remainder of their life, clearly this one wasn’t meant to walk!” Crazy! We would expect them to keep at it, cheer them on, hold out a hand 3 ft away to encourage/support them to do it again. And again.

And again.

Mindy Kaling is an actor and producer who graduated from Dartmouth. She recently gifted a theater lab to Dartmouth stating this is a theater where student writers and actors can workshop material “just places to feel safe to fail and try again.” Fail and try again. Learning. Safe places. Trying again.

Is this you? Do you suck at doing pushups all the way to the ground? Or maybe you suck at swimming? What are you doing about this? Are you persistent?

Your own personal superpower is to embrace the suck. What makes you good, or what makes you seem talented is learning from the mistakes.

This learning is a growth mindset-hey I can learn things no matter what my age! or do you have a fixed mindset-well I tried a push-up and fell on my face, guess I’m not good at push-ups.

What do you suck at? Are you willing to embrace the suck to be able to suck less? Is your answer to this question coming from a growth mindset or a fixed mindset?

Let me know.